When You are Overwhelmed.
This is one of those posts. Those posts that I write in a matter of a few minutes because God lays it on my heart. Today my post planned was about my little girls’ birthday on Monday. But that can wait. Today it is something that a lot of people deal with and it’s just something I feel I have to write about. I hope the Lord uses this for you as much as He has for me.
When you are Overwhelmed.
I have 4 kids. I love them with all of my being. There can be screaming, fighting, crying, and singing all in the same moment. And sometimes I feel like I am having a sensory overload. I’m a multi-tasker. I tend to take on lots of projects. I tend to be productive when need be, especially at the last minutes ( Procrastinator at heart). I like high energy, I like having things to do, I like getting things done. I’m pretty goal oriented. ( I love tests. I know, weird right? But a test is the end result, the goal of all that work I did.)
I have hit a point in my life that is uncharted waters. Things kind of rile me more. I get stressed out more easily. After our last child I went through a phase of depression. Not severe, to where I couldn’t get out of bed. Mercy, the doctor asked me that. When I told him no, I still could function, he said I didn’t have depression. Obviously he did not have 4 children who had to be fed, bathed, and refereed. For a long time I wouldn’t face this. I’m a Christian, I should have the joy of the Lord in me. My children are healthy. My husband is absolutely amazing to me and our kids. We have so many blessings. So why couldn’t I get past this feeling of sadness? Of hopelessness? It’s like I was being selfish, I knew it, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I cried. I was quiet (those of you who know me-this is hard to believe I know :P) I would get things done but be completely stressed about it. I would put on a face, smile, and try to grin and bear it.
It was probably the hardest couple years I’ve ever had. I felt like a failure.
-Why couldn’t I get past this?
-What did I need to do?
-Why wasn’t God answering my prayer?
I was trying to glorify Him with my life, but it’s like I was stuck in mud.
Have you ever had that happen to you?
When I was 12, my twin sister, my cousin, and I all three went gallivanting around our neighborhood. Of course, being in a rural area we found some 4 wheeler paths. We were having a good time following them through the woods. But, one key element: It had rained. And where there are tracks in dirt, there is MUD. Now, I have to say, this really was an accident. We did not plan on playing in the mud. However, when one of you slips and falls directly into the hole, well, everyone has to join in. So there we were. The three of us, about a half mile from home, covered in mud from head to toe. After we had all the fun we could take, and all the smell we could take of mud, we headed back home. The thing was, I was wearing these awesome black high tops. They were filled with mud. We had to walk back up 2 very steep hills. Okay, I am 34 soon to be 35, and I STILL remember how heavy those Converse shoes were. It was awful. It took every ounce of strength just to move forward one step.
That’s a lot how my depression felt, and I still have bouts of it every now and then. It takes so much energy just to be joyful, and happy, to get things done.
I was overwhelmed. My hormones were out of whack (Hello hormones of 4 pregnancies). I was depressed. Why didn’t God answer my prayer?
The thing is: He did.
I would consistently cry out to God. Constantly I was at the throne of the Lord pleading with Him to help me. And He did.
After finally seeing another doctor about this, she helped me to get back on track to being my old self. She told me that this is common for women my age and especially after all of the hormones of having other humans hormones’ in my body.
God did answer my prayer. He heard my cry. It just wasn’t on my own like what I usually tend to do.
There are some things that I have learned in all of this.
–I can’t handle it all on my own. Did you notice all my questions up there?
Why couldn’t I get past this? What did I need to do? Why wasn’t God answering my prayer? I am trying to glorify Him with my life, but it’s like I was stuck in mud.
-It’s a lot of I and my. The thing is, I couldn’t do anything about it. I tried and tried. I’m a Mom. I’m in charge of a lot of little people in my house. I felt like I shouldn’t need anyone else’s help. I I I I I. Mercy, that wears me out just typing it. But finally came to the realization I couldn’t do it by myself. I had the help of a physician who knew what was going on. I also had the support of my hubby and family.
–I wasn’t alone. I can’t tell you how many women and moms I have talked to about this. The thing is: we are ashamed to talk about it. It’s like we talk about it in hushed tones not wanting others to hear. And that makes me mad and sad. It’s like it is taboo or something. And it’s not. People go through hard times-the body of Christ is there to help us make it through those hard times. If you aren’t a believer in Christ, maybe you have friends or relatives you can rely on. You aren’t alone though. You aren’t the only person going through this.
–It’s not my fault. I felt guilty. Why can’t I get through this? Why aren’t I happy? This is something I needed help with. And I had to own up to it. Honestly, that is what took the longest for me. I was ashamed to go to the doctor about it. But then I realized after talking with a medical professional about it, it’s pretty common even though we treat it as taboo.
I still go through bouts of depression. Nothing like it was before. But what do I do now when I see it happening? When I notice it coming on?
God’s Word Is God speaking to us. I know that. It is living and active, the Holy Spirit speaks to us with it. Here are several verses that I have claimed and that I still run to. I hope these are helpful to you as they are to me.
Philippians 4:6-8 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Psalm 34:17: The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Matthew 11:28-29 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
So there you have it. If you are going through this, can I ask you to talk to someone about it? Talk to another woman who you look up to or one of your peers. Go speak with your doctor about it. We all go through seasons in our lives. This is what I have had in this season. I pray that this is of some encouragement and hope for you. Please, if you would like to talk about it, I’m not a medical professional, but I can provide a listening ear and can pray.